


I'm low on charge and you need a date

by itsafuckingdeathwish



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Attempt at Humor, Cute, Fluff, Funny, I hope, M/M, Pastel Phil Lester, Punk Dan Howell, but honestly not really, but mostly dan, ish, they're both so awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 04:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12697167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsafuckingdeathwish/pseuds/itsafuckingdeathwish
Summary: Phil, just about the most pastel person you could ever meet, gets convinced by his friend to meet somebody on a blind date at a coffee shop, who is hopefully not a psycho accidental animal abuser this time, but doesn't expect to end up with a date with the adorable, not-as-punk-as-he-thinks-he-is barista.





	I'm low on charge and you need a date

In Phil’s opinion, today was a perfect day. The sun was shining, quite a rare occasion in London. The spring air was warm, but a cool breeze was playing with his friend Cat’s hair as they walked. He didn’t have any responsibilities or things to do. All he could hear was the comforting bustle of his city, a few birds singing on a telephone wire, and Cat chattering---

“Phil, we seriously need to get you a boyfriend.” Well, that perfect moment was gone. 

“What? Cat, I’m fine.” He groaned to himself. She was always on him to go meet guys, and kept trying to set him up. He was fine! It wasn’t like he wanted a boyfriend anyway. Why on earth would he want a kind, perfect guy to bring him flowers and go on dates and surprise him and text him about random things at 3 am? He was just fine the way he was. 

“No, you’re not. Besides, I know the perfect guy for you!” 

“Cat---”

“You don’t have a choice, you’re meeting him. You’ll love him! And I promise this one isn’t a crazy cat man.”

“Well that’s reassuring,” Phil remarked drily. “But I kind of figured that out by myself. I mean, what are the chances of you knowing two psychos with thirty cats? But there are plenty of other ways he can be crazy without violating ten different animal rights laws.”

Lets just say Cat’s track record for setting him up with guys wasn’t exactly as good as it could have been. 

“Come on, Phil,” she whined, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

“Puppy eyes don’t suit Cats,” he said, then groaned. “Fine, fine, fine. I’ll meet him.”

He winced as she squealed in excitement, pulling out her phone to text somebody. “He’s my friend’s friend,” she explained as her fingers flew across the screen. “Well, actually, my friend’s friend’s friend. Oh! Okay, you’re meeting him in half an hour at Roasted, that coffee shop next to that weird anime store you like.”

Phil sighed, already regretting this. Hey, it couldn’t get much worse, right?  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ping! Dan’s phone chimed with a text alert from his back pocket. Sighing, he dug it out of his way too tight skinny jeans. But just as he turned it on, it beeped angrily at him, then shut itself off. The power was dead. Fanfuckingtastic. Okay, yes, maybe he had woken up at 4 am for some weird reason, and decided to pass the time until his nine o’clock shift by watching a Canadian web series on Youtube about a girl and her lesbian vampire college roommate for four hours without plugging in his phone, but STILL. It totally wasn’t his fault. It was just his stupid phone. Totally. 

Running a hand through his hair, he turned back to the cappuccino machine, handing an overpriced drink to the guy walking five cats on a leash. Working at a coffeeshop was weird.

PJ, his friend who also worked at Roasted, was currently scrawling the latested coffee-themed insult on the chalkboard they hung outside. Honestly, Dan didn’t know how they kept coming up with new ones every week. “What do you think?” he asked, holding up the board. 

“Words cannot espresso how much you don’t bean to me” was written in swirly letters, decorated with doodles of coffee beans and cups.

“I think it’s a good thing you’re in charge of the sign, and not me,” Dan said. “Because words cannot espresso how horrible it would look if I tried to draw it.”

PJ laughed, but he knew it was true. 

Dan drummed his black painted nails on the countertop, bored. It was sometime around 3 pm, and almost no one was in the shop, just a hassled college student frantically typing and guzzling black coffee, three old ladies who had been sitting at the corner table for about two hours now, and two girls giggling and blushing, glancing at each other and then quickly looking away. He was almost 100% sure that they were on a date---and if they weren’t, then they should have been---as they were absolutely adorable. He’d already wiped down the counters, cleaned the cappuccino machine, swept the already spotless floor, and refilled every type of milk and flavor shot they had.

Just then, the bell on the door jingled faintly as someone pushed the door open tentatively. Without glancing up, Dan walked over to the register. “Hi, welcome to Roasted, home of coffee richer than Bill Gates and darker than Satan’s sense of---” He broke off as he finally looked up to see two mesmerizing blue eyes brimming with laughter staring back at him.

“Of-of hu---humor,” he finished, blushing. He peeked back up at the guy through his lashes, and started blushing deeply. His deep blue eyes were set onto a beautiful face, with high cheekbones, a strong jaw, and full lips. Black hair was swept to one side, contrasting deeply with his pale skin---oh, fuck. He sounded like a John Green character meeting their soulmate for the first time. He really hoped that wasn’t the case, because that meant that one or both of them had a terminal illness or was about to crash their car. Well, actually, he wouldn’t really mind the soulmate part, but the angsty death part probably wasn’t much to hope for.

Long story short, this guy was hot as hell. But as Dan took in the guy’s pastel pink jumper and light yellow jeans, and looked down at his own black band shirt, black fingernails, ripped black super skinny jeans, black Vans, black earrings, and black demeanor, and sighed internally. Plus, today he had hobbit hair. Today, of all days for his straightener to freak out on him, it had to pick today!

“Um, w-what can I do for you? Get you? I mean---What do you want? No, wait, that sounds rude! W-what kind of coffee would you l-like?” As Dan finally shut up, he tried to lean casually against the counter, but ended up knocking over several cans of whipped cream. 

“Fuck!” he whispered. Way to make a great impression, Dan. 

The guy chuckled lightly. “I guess I’ll take a medium hazelnut latte. Hot, but not as hot as you, I don’t want to burn myself.” He blushed furiously as stopped talking, looking like he hadn’t really meant to say the last part. 

Dan’s cheeks must have been pinker than Hello Kitty’s bedroom. “I---um, okay. Uh . . . oh! Price, right. Um, that’ll be . . . $3.87.”

As the guy out his money, Dan glanced anywhere but at him. PJ was not-so-discreetly flashing him a thumbs up and other more suggestive gestures, so Dan flipped him off under the counter. The college girl looked like she hadn’t noticed them, but she probably wouldn’t have noticed if Godzilla was smashing around outside and a mariachi band came to play background music. The old ladies were giggling, sneaking glances at them, looking like they were imagining what his and the guy’s babies would look like. 

The hopefully dating girls were still just as adorable as they had been, but now he had a feeling they were gossiping about him and the guy, an assumption that was aided by the snatches of their conversation that he caught: “they’re so cute,” “the barista’s so flustered---look! They’re blushing,” “If they’re not dating by the end of this, I’m going to flip a table.” Me too, Dan thought.

Finally, the guy handed a few bills to Dan, who took a second to realize that, oh, I’m supposed to take these. It sounded really cliche, but Dan swore he could feel sparks fly as their hands brushed. 

As Dan gave the guy his change, he desperately hoped he hadn’t forgotten basic addition, but with how love-drunk he felt, that was a very likely possibility. 

“Oh---um, what’s your name? F-for the cup! Not because I wanted to stalk you or anything! Just---just for the cup.” He trailed off at the end, mentally slamming his head into the counter. 

“It’s Phil. But I don’t think it’s fair that you know my name, but I don’t know yours,” Phil said with a little smile. Was---was that a flirty smile? It certainly looked like it. Well, whatever it was, it was fucking adorable. 

“I’m . . . I’m . . .” What was his name again? “I’m Dan.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Dan.”

“You---you too. I . . . I’m gonna go---I’m gonna go make your coffee.” 

Phil nodded, and looked down at his phone, typing something furiously. Dan walked over to make the drink, and almost fucked it up at least three times. He grabbed a small cup at first instead of medium, almost started the cappucino machine for some reason, and picked up the vanilla flavor shot instead of hazelnut. God, he hated attractive people. 

Sure, he was always kinda a klutz, but it was never this bad! He’d been stuttering, blushing, tripping, and just generally fucking up since Phil had come in, but it wasn’t like he wanted him to leave. Not at all.

Finally, he managed a simple hazelnut latte, and called out, “Hazelnut latte for Phil.”

Phil glanced up, and smiled. He walked over to take his drink, and that was where it all went to hell. Dan moved his hand to give the latte to Phil, but he jerked just a bit, and the cup flew out of his hand, splattering all over the counter. Somehow, not a drop landed on Dan or Phil, except for a little spot on Phil’s cheek. 

Before Dan could second-guess himself, he reached out to gently wipe away the drop, making both of them blush even harder. 

“I’m so sorry! I’m so clumsy today, I swear to god! I guess I just get that way around hot guys---”

“You think I’m hot?” Phil was smiling just a bit.

“Um, yeah. Maybe---” He took a deep breath. “Maybeicouldbuyyouanewcoffeeinfifteenminuteswhenmyshiftendsandtakeyouonadate?”

Phil’s smile widened. “Yeah. Actually, that’s perfect. My friend Cat made me come here, because she said I was supposed to meet her friend Chris’s friend here for a date, fifteen minutes from now. But I texted to cancel, because I didn’t really think it was fair to whoever for me to be on a date with him, but thinking about the hot barista the whole time.”

It took a second for Dan’s brain to catch up. “Your friend Cat set you up with Chris’s friend? My friend Chris has a friend named Cat. And I got a text half an hour ago, a second before my phone died. You don’t think---”

Phil smirked. “Well, I suppose fate works in mysterious ways, but in this case, I’m not really complaining."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed, I usually write angst, but I'm starting to write more fluff and humor and stuff. If people like this fic, maybe I'll add their date, and make it a multi-chaptered fic, idk yet.  
> Love, Grace


End file.
